It's okay to let it go.
Young Cheri knew. She always did, but she was also painfully naive.
I trusted them too much and was rewarded with disappointment and shame. Circumstances eventually put distance and time between us. I was relieved. Relieved to be pursuing my young adult life in a lane that would rarely cross with theirs. It felt free. It felt safe. I also worked really damn HARD to break some generational codependent patterns and to set boundaries.
A few decades later, I cautiously responded to a message from a member of that group. “Perhaps it would be okay. Maybe there were positive changes,” I told myself. We continued to have some interaction, mostly via digital channels. We were both busy with life and family, and I was, um ... still cautious. But someone I love and who is very important to me - but is no longer on this earth - would have wanted us to stay connected, to care, to love.
As much as I wish that could be the case, it’s just not going to happen.
I owe young Cheri an apology … SHE did the hard work. And I let this happen. And it feels like SHIT. But … I know that young Cheri forgives me. She always forgave. She was brave enough to seek the help, to heal, to grow from those messy parts of youthhood so that I would have the tools to sit with these moments. To cry. To grieve. To welcome the healing.
I’m so thankful that young Cheri loves me, and that I love her. We share that grace. We treasure it.
Love always wins. Even within boundaries.
Especially within boundaries.
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